“However, I have never clogged myself with the praises of pastoral life, nor with nostalgia for an innocent past of perverted acts in pastures. No. One need never leave the confines of New York to get all the greenery one wishes—I can’t even enjoy a blade of grass unless I know there’s a subway handy, or a record store or some other sign that people do not totally regret life. It is more important to affirm the least sincere; the clouds get enough attention as it is and even they continue to pass. Do they know what they’re missing? Uh huh.”—Meditations in an Emergency - Frank O’Hara (via criticalmess)
Things Editorial Assistants Should Never Say to Senior Editors
I was inputting your edits and I noticed you spelled a few words wrong. Most of them were obvious mistakes, so I just changed them. Unless you were trying to misspell them on purpose to prove a point or something.
The Chicago Manual of Style is good, but honestly, I prefer to use my own instincts.
Have you read The Da Vinci Code? It is SO good.
Shirley McLean is signing copies of her new book in the conference room. Can I go?
No, thanks, I don’t want to mail that.
His style is so unique—he’s like Victor Hugo meets David Sedaris, except he’s not nearly as good as either of those guys.
Do you know what our imprint needs? A book about porn. No, I’m serious.
I’ve written a few novels myself, you know.
These must be the halcyon years of your career, huh? [pause] Did I use “halcyon” correctly—I didn’t, did I? Fuck…
Oh, my God, I’m sorry—I just assumed you were a lesbian.
Well, I know what link I’ll be emailing out to my co-workers on Monday morning.
“After the movie, the couple grab a drink at a nearby country bar and slow-dance to a low-key version of “I Will Always Love You” sung by John Doe from the band X. It must be all Whitney can do to not look into the camera and whisper, “I’m going to sing the shit out of this song in about 20 minutes, people, just be patient.”—
"The Bodyguard" chapter of Screening Party, by Dennis Hensley.
I think of that moment in The Bodyguard every single time Whitney Houston’s name comes up.
Here's the trick with spray tans. Find a salon that has versa spa and NOT mystic tan. One of the ingredients in the mystic tan spray is carotene-- the stuff that makes carrots orange! Versa spa gives a nice golden tan with no hint of orangey-ness. My sisters and I did it for our brother's wedding, and I think it looked great :) -Carlin
Ooh, thank you! There’s a place with Versa Spa not far from my apartment, and it’s supposed to snow on Saturday—sounds like the perfect time to get a tan!