Hierarchy of Book Publishing
The Top 100
(circa 2012)1). Brand-name authors (still)
- Stephen King (since 1974)
- John Grisham (1989)
- Patricia Cornwell (1990)
- Jodi Picoult (1992)
- Nicholas Sparks (1996)
- Jennifer Weiner (2001)
- Etc.
2). Self-published authors with proven track (developing)
- J.A. Konrath (since 2004)
- John Locke (2009)
- Amanda Hocking (2010)
- Brittany Geragotelis (2011)
- Etc.
3). Amy Einhorn’s hair™
4). Authors who have been to Heaven, met God
- Todd Burpo
- Tim Tebow
5). GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
- A Game of Thrones
- A chick who hatches dragons from her vagina
- I never meet women like this
6). Intern assigned to company twitter feed
7). Intern assigned to company tumblr feed
8). SUZANNE COLLINS
- The Hunger Games
- March 23, 2012
9). American Cheerleader Magazine
- See #2, Brittany Geragotelis
10). The Chairmen, Publishers, and Editor-in-Chiefs (still)
- Sonny Mehta, Knopf – handsome, smokes, drinks, spent time in Australian jail, rarely talks or responds to email
- Michael Pietsch, Little Brown – not as handsome as Sonny, practitioner of Bikram, mostly clean track with minor indiscretions (smoking a bone with Keith)
- Jonathan Galassi, FSG – complicated, a poet
- Karp, S&S – now wants to be addressed only by his last name, a real Yenta
- Do they have one at Harper Collins? (checking on this)
- Etc.
11). Literary Agents (still)
- Amanda Urban, aka, Binky: “I wouldn’t take that offer to my fucking maid.”
- Andrew Wylie, aka, The Jackal: “Surely ours was a misunderstanding.”
- Bill Clegg, aka, Stovepipe: “Bill is temporarily out of the office on business.”
- Etc.
Super long and insider-y for publishing nerds (I still needed to look a few things up, but at least I got the Stovepipe reference). Those of you who need to read the rest know who you are.
