I counted it up, and I went to the beach 15 times this summer: to Long Beach, twice to Rockaway, to the Jersey Shore, 7 times in Sandbridge VA, 4 times in the Florida Keys. And in between every beach trip, I thought, “I really need to buy a new swimsuit.” As discussed before, I desperately wanted a retroish one-piece, and I still haven’t given up—I put together a whole Pinterest board of possiblities. (I’ve had a Pinterest account for maybe a year but resisted using it because I already have 80 billion social media accounts; I don’t need them all. But then I got frustrated with the inefficiency of saving recipes to Delicious, and thought I should make a Healthy Dishes board for cooking inspiration. I’m sure I’ll be completely addicted by the end of this month. Just don’t let me sign up for Foursquare.)
But I’ve also spend the whole summer combing through the J.Crew swimwear collection, especially their huge sale section. And when I saw today that all sale items are an extra 30% off through tomorrow… oh shit, it’s on. First I did that thing where I pretend I’m Veruca Salt and put everything I want into my shopping cart, regardless of price. Ended up with about 12 pieces for $600. Then the narrowing down process begins! I slashed and burned all the too-basic bottoms and dubiously supportive bandeaus; the overly pricey tankinis and not unique enough halters. Here’s what I’m left with:
Marrakech paisley top and bottom
Caspian paisley top and bottom
Poppy triangle top and emblem paisley bottom (obviously not a matching set—but don’t they work together surprisingly well?
I’m sure you’re all screaming at me, “Who needs TWO paisley bikinis!? Especially since you have not worn a single piece of paisley clothing in your life?” I know, I hear you. Here’s the thing: I’ve been dying for a swimsuit in that green paisley print for ages. I think the details are gorgeous and that color would look great on me. But the purple paisley is available in styles that are much more likely to flatter my body. I wonder if I could mix and match—green top with purple bottom, or vice versa. Would it be too crazy busy? Hmm, it looks all everything but the yellow seersucker tank is returnable, so I might just have to buy it all and force myself to return at least two things.
And that has been today’s edition of Why Are You Putting so Much Thought into Swimsuits, It’s September.


















