My birthday came early! First the lovely and honorable Mr. Joe sent me the special birthday cake Oreos—I’d been trying to find them in stores for months, with no luck, so Joe made my dreams come true. I haven’t tried them yet, because once I open the bag there’s a definite possibility I’ll eat them all in one sitting. I’m going to try my darnedest to be patient so Joe can taste the sugary glory for himself. (Side note: I really wanted to make a “healthy” cake batter milkshake and the recipe calls for cashew butter. Not that strange, right? Wrong! I had to search Fairway from top to bottom to find it, and they only had two choices, which were $14. I can’t pay $14 for something I’m putting into my Magic Bullet! I’m not serving this milkshake to the Sultan of Arabia, geez.)
Then I got a little gift from my company (perks of working in publishing: you can order your company’s books from the warehouse, for free, if you keep it on the DL): Michael Phelps’s memoir and children’s book. I actually already have a hardback copy of the memoir, but the paperback was updated with a new chapter and I wanted to see if the photo insert was any different. Nope—still just a single photo of Lochte, out of focus in the background, not even named in the caption. Criminal! (Side note: When is Lochte going to start shopping around a book, and how am I going to get a meeting? And if anyone has any ideas on what Ryan Lochte’s book should be about, message me immediately.) And the children’s book I wanted to see for myself after foremost swim vloggers Eve and Candace called it “so cute” 11 times in 4 minutes. What really sold me was hearing about the cartoon Herman the bulldog.